Ebb & flow

I have no clue where this blog is going to go, if it will be boring meaningless drival used to take up precious minutes of your day (or night -- depending entirely upon you and when you choose to read my ramblings), OR if this might actually contain some useful information, interesting facts, or [gasp] maybe even a crack or two at some humor. Because, really...how hard is it for one to imagine me attempting to be humorous?

The last few months have really afforded me the time to sit back, look around, and take inventory of what few (and faithful) friends I have left remaining in my life. Some have chosen to end the friendship, because of vicious rumors that they failed to approach me about. Some have decided to part ways, due to our lives taking separate paths, and others have ended due to my hand. Whatever the case may have been, I've found myself quite alone, and although I'm more often alone in the literal sense...I realize I'm actually never alone. I have friends now, who are more than just friends. They have become much like family for me. The road that I've been down these past few months has been a very dark road. The clouds have consistently clouded the rays of the sun and the beam of moonlight that I've always used to follow the path ahead of me. Now I'm blindly stumbling, tripping often, and have even fallen a time or two. But each time, those faithful friends, have always stood there, holding my hands, guiding me along and picking me up when I've sat down to rest. They've dusted me off, and encouraged me along, when all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wither away into the dust upon which I lie.

Life is full of choices. The choices are yours to make. Be wise, be thoughtful, and be considerate when making your choices. Remember that they not only affect you, but EVERY single person that you are in contact with. Make these choices so that you can live your life without regret.

And if you've made decisions that led to regret, learn from them. Don't do it twice. First time, shame on them. Second time, shame on you. Dot your i's, cross your t's, and trot along life's happy little freeway of insanity. Fill up when you need, brake when necessary, but most importantly...go with the flow. Because really, you only get this ONE chance at life. And it's up to you how happy, or miserable, you will be. Once you realize this, life in all it's glory, will never slow you down. Be you. Be courageous. Be loved. Because you are.

...hm. Not as much humor as I"d hoped for. :P

P.S. Please dont' mistake ANY of this as me voicing regret. I have absolutely no regrets.

If today was your last day....

So Nickelback's new CD came out. They have a song on it called "If Today Was Your Last Day". It's such an inspiring song, and it's made me realize that my life was not being lived to it's fullest extent. So now I'm done.

I'm going to live my life as it is...my life. not live for other people. Obviously I'm not going to become some rude bitch, that's just not my style. But I am going to stop trying to please everyone with the decisions that I make. I think I started down that path back in July.

This year has not exactly been full of joy. But a LOT of silver linings can be found amongst the clouds that shadowed this past 12 months. I'm very excited for this next year, and all that it holds. Relationships will grow, friendships will strengthen, traveling to be had, and birthdays to celebrate. Not to mention that every day is a gift. :) So many things are set to happen, and I'm so very excited to see what this coming year holds for me. And the ones I love. 2008 was a pretty shitty year for most everyone I know. Let's just hope '09 is a million times better.


cheers.