Ebb & flow

I have no clue where this blog is going to go, if it will be boring meaningless drival used to take up precious minutes of your day (or night -- depending entirely upon you and when you choose to read my ramblings), OR if this might actually contain some useful information, interesting facts, or [gasp] maybe even a crack or two at some humor. Because, really...how hard is it for one to imagine me attempting to be humorous?

The last few months have really afforded me the time to sit back, look around, and take inventory of what few (and faithful) friends I have left remaining in my life. Some have chosen to end the friendship, because of vicious rumors that they failed to approach me about. Some have decided to part ways, due to our lives taking separate paths, and others have ended due to my hand. Whatever the case may have been, I've found myself quite alone, and although I'm more often alone in the literal sense...I realize I'm actually never alone. I have friends now, who are more than just friends. They have become much like family for me. The road that I've been down these past few months has been a very dark road. The clouds have consistently clouded the rays of the sun and the beam of moonlight that I've always used to follow the path ahead of me. Now I'm blindly stumbling, tripping often, and have even fallen a time or two. But each time, those faithful friends, have always stood there, holding my hands, guiding me along and picking me up when I've sat down to rest. They've dusted me off, and encouraged me along, when all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wither away into the dust upon which I lie.

Life is full of choices. The choices are yours to make. Be wise, be thoughtful, and be considerate when making your choices. Remember that they not only affect you, but EVERY single person that you are in contact with. Make these choices so that you can live your life without regret.

And if you've made decisions that led to regret, learn from them. Don't do it twice. First time, shame on them. Second time, shame on you. Dot your i's, cross your t's, and trot along life's happy little freeway of insanity. Fill up when you need, brake when necessary, but most importantly...go with the flow. Because really, you only get this ONE chance at life. And it's up to you how happy, or miserable, you will be. Once you realize this, life in all it's glory, will never slow you down. Be you. Be courageous. Be loved. Because you are.

...hm. Not as much humor as I"d hoped for. :P

P.S. Please dont' mistake ANY of this as me voicing regret. I have absolutely no regrets.

If today was your last day....

So Nickelback's new CD came out. They have a song on it called "If Today Was Your Last Day". It's such an inspiring song, and it's made me realize that my life was not being lived to it's fullest extent. So now I'm done.

I'm going to live my life as it is...my life. not live for other people. Obviously I'm not going to become some rude bitch, that's just not my style. But I am going to stop trying to please everyone with the decisions that I make. I think I started down that path back in July.

This year has not exactly been full of joy. But a LOT of silver linings can be found amongst the clouds that shadowed this past 12 months. I'm very excited for this next year, and all that it holds. Relationships will grow, friendships will strengthen, traveling to be had, and birthdays to celebrate. Not to mention that every day is a gift. :) So many things are set to happen, and I'm so very excited to see what this coming year holds for me. And the ones I love. 2008 was a pretty shitty year for most everyone I know. Let's just hope '09 is a million times better.


cheers.

I have issues....

Many
many
issues.
most of you know them. :)
some of you dont'.

But.........
whatever. My issues make me ... uniquely me. :D
And..I'm still loved.
Yay me!

here's a way to make my day

turn to shit.

X puts daughter on phone so I can say hi.
Daughter (excitedly) gets on phone and says "Hi (insert x's gf's name)"

Wow.
And it was such a gorgeous morning. Really.
Ironically the sun just decided to hide...causing the entire atmosphere of my day to change.
Not just my disposition.

#2. Just a few...

Of my favorite ways to relax:

1) Rainy Sunday mornings, curled up on the couch, drinking coffee and talking to someone special.
2 ) Crunching through leaves on a crisp fall day.
3) A steaming cuppa coffee with the right creamer.
4) A long hot bubble bath.
5) Playing guitar.
6) Singing sweet songs.
7) Hearing someone that I love tell me they love me back.
8) His voice.

Numero Uno

Why not start on the first day of the new month, right? right.

Last night was our kids' first experience trick or treating.
My kids, really, are pretty damn cool.
We took the kids to the Bridgeport Village for the night, where we met up with one of X's coworkers and her kid. And her friend, and her friend's baby. We treated the night away, and then came back to my place for pizza, pop, and candy. It was a nice night.

The oldest was Optimus Prime. And even he couldn't get over how cool he was. :P
The middle was the Red Power Ranger, but he wasn't too thrilled about that, so we told him that he was a cousin to Iron Man. He was cool with that.
And the grill was a beautiful Angel. Who kept losing her halo....I hope that's not indicative of times to come.

Oh, and my nifty phone has navigation on it. That directs AROUND traffic. Thaaaat was freaking awesome.

Go Envy!

mkay. That's boring blog number 1. Hope to have more interesting posts further down the road. I'm hurting today...migraine trying to weasel it's way into my day.

Peace.

30 in 30....

Can you do it?

I think I can.

I double dog dare you to try it. :P

Peanut Butter & Cheese.

I love you because you make me laugh
when I don't even want to smile.

Danke.

.alone.

being alone...sucks.
really
fucking
bad.

Dumb as...whaaa?

It's night number....what?
um...5.

What did I do?

Rent a scary as shit movie.

Based on true events.


Just call me dumb as whatever you want.

All aboard! Last train to crazytown.

Actually...I think I may have become a resident for life in Crazytown.
We all know the saying "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." I recently heard it told another way, and ... well. I like the new version much more.

"When life hands you lemons...make lemonade. Then go find someone else who's life gave them vodka."

:-)

Soooo...I'm moved. In my own place. 3 nights on my own now. Peace and quiet, sans the damn gardening guys. I mean..seriously? They were here yesterday for hours. HOURS, and early, too. Like 9 am. And today? Again? Isn't there another section of landscaping you can go blow your hot air on? But, it's a nice apartment, a beautiful complex. My neighbors are nice, the few that I've met.

I'm living in the midst of garbage sacks full of clothes to be donated, empty boxes to be thrown out, and a dining room set that needs to be assembled. That SOB is effin heavy.

Work is going really really good. That just sounds grammatically incorrect, but I don't give a damn at the moment.

I truly enjoy my job at Fred Meyer's. It's (so far) a great company, and it's always busy, so the time flies by. I've gotten a ton of compliments, and only one grumpy customer thus far. Who, in turn, turned out to be very nice once she found out I'd only been working on the floor for a week. Full of well wishes and "you're doing great kid" compliments. Heh. Me? A kid.

LMAO Not if you ask some people.
Oh, and. I'm not having a birthday ever again. I'm 29 forever. Yep. Don't laugh, don't argue.


FOR
EV
ERRR!

just want that to be known by all that I cannot and will not embrace my thirties. Thirties do not exist for me. I've stopped time for me, and will not age another day.

I know, it's a grand place here in crazytown.


So ... I'm out. Shower, then going to do some retail therapy. Who says I'm out of money? I still have plastic. :P (Just kidding)

ONce the place is all set up I'll get around to taking some pics.

Peace.

Just a quickie.

Started training for my new job this week. It's seeming to be simple enough.
We'll see tomorrow, as we go live.
Meaning..actual customer interaction.

I'll let you know how that goes.

On a side note.
I can't wait for this Sunday.
It's "MOVE OUT" day! WOOT!

Oh, and June holds a large portion of my interest too.
I wonder why..................

heh.
Peace.
yo.

Drunken Stupor Pics.

Okay. Elbert asked.
I didn't have any of me falling down, per Se.
But...well.

Here's a progression:
The night began, the drinking ensued....


1 Vanilla Nudge, and 1/2 Zombie:



















And now we're ... 2 shots away from being done:




















And we're done:

D-Day!!!

D stands for Divorce.

... or drunk if you want to talk about last night.

I went out with two friends for desert. To celebrate my freedom.
1 Vanilla Coffee Nudge, 1 Zombie, 3 shots of Petrone (I know I botched that spelling), and 1 good ol' fashion shot of Jose Cuervo later...I was toast.

Note to self: Never drink on an empty stomach.
Note to self again: Always always drink more water than alcohool.

Oh, and FYI? Grease is SO GOOD for a hangover.


So back to last night's festivities.
We ended up...laying in the middle of the parking lot. Not sure why.
I think we were trying to pose for a picture together.
But we couldn't stop falling over. So we sat down.
....nuff said?
{shrugs}
And then? My mom called. I felt like a high school girl being busted, totally freaked out
and did NOT answer the call. lmao.
I told her today that i was trying to be respectful, knowing she wouldn't want to hear me drunk.

Oh, and I did some drunk texting.

Note to self: Cell phone camera's are evil when it comes to drunken stupors.

hm.....
I wonder if these note to self's will actually....come to my mind the next time I go out for...desert?

Playas and players.

you know the kind.

Thinks his shit don't stink, he's God's gift to all humanity, the cure for every incurable disease, and still down enough to use offensive terms such as "Mama" and "Cracker" like they're the lose change in the bottom of a homeless man's mug.

I know a couple of these types. I'm beginning to think that they're not just a breed, but a race in and of themselves. Because, really...they can do no wrong, and (silly you didn't you know?) every female that comes within 10 meters of them can't help but not jump their bones on the spot.

And then there's an entirely different type of player, one that I love. I'm speaking of the non human, ego-free, purely mechanical and digitally enhanced music players. Nifty little buggers, I tell ya. Truly help me hone into whatever mood I'm teetering on the edge of.

Take tonight, for instance. Was in an uber silly mood earlier. And then...a wave of blinding lights washed over me like that horrendous tidal wave at the end of the that Perfect Storm movie. Once recovered, I had the migraine from hell. So I took a special cocktail of this, that, and some vicodin. Within minutes I swear the angels sang a rousing chorus of "Hallelujah" as the clouds parted and allowed the sun to shine it's warmth and ... oh hell. Who am I kidding? There's no sun. For two reasons.

1) It's 11:30 at night. There's no sun at this hour, I don't live in Alaska. Which leads me to the next reason.
B) ... I live in Oregon. Where the sun don't shine for 9 months out of the year, and if you were to compare the locals to Casper, he'd win in the "best tan" category. Where the trees have so much moss on them that it looks like an old man's beard. Just...green. Eww...the visual.

So anyways, tonight's playlist is a medly of music, ranging from Heavy Metal, to Avril Lavigne, to Rancid, to Kid Rock, and a little old skill Beastie boys. It's helped me go from bitchy and pissy straight to rocking and rolling.

Those are the kind of players I like.

amazing person of the year award...

Goes to this guy that has my heart. He puts up with so much shit from me.
Just an fyi to all you ladies who think your guy gets the award.

You're wrong. they don't.
Mine does.

Isn't it weird for you?

Cause it is for me, yo.

I seriously hate that question. No, my situation is perfectly fucking peachy, thanks. I love that I live with my very soon to be ex husband. I love that the one person I want to be with lives 13 thousand fucking miles away. I love that my closest friend is 2 hours away. I love that I have no friends nearby. I love drinking alone.

Oh my fucking Gawd. What the hell do you think?!

oh and one more thing...

to you...person who's an amazingly awesome ray of
everything good in my life.



Peanutbutter and cheese.
I"m not emo...I just cry alot.

what the eff is wrong with me?

I've got something good going on in my life.
So good.
And yet, I suck. lol

To the good thing, you know who you are...
You are so good for me.
Thank you.
You are my favorite dork.

<3

Good ol' fashioned what?

Watched an old episode of Friends. Man I missed those people. It was the episode about the shark porn. And the episode ended with a very uncomfortable conversation between Monica & Chandler. I really don't know if anyone else will find the hilarity in this conversation, but as for me? It's there. Ass slapping, mind numbing, in-your-face hilariosity. If that's even a word.


You know...I"m too tired to write out the conversation, and too damn lazy to look it up.
Just know that it was all about porn.
And sharks.
And ended with:
"No honey. It was just good ol' fashioned girl on girl action!"
"Oh my god. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that!"

Yeah. I giggled.

peace.

Because I like to procrastinate

This here will forever be my first post under this blog. The next one with be the second, and then the third, and so on and so forth.

I am the queen of pointing out the obvious.
I am sarcastic and bitchy at times.
Sweet and caring most of the time.
I have a dry humor, but I am not British. Unfortunately.
I am American and I say things wrong.
Like Banana.
I spell things wrong, too.
Like Tire.
I'm learning German.
But, for the most part, can only say naughty things.
My mind likes to roll around in the much & mire of the gutter.
I can take the simplest of sentences and turn it into something dirty.
I gossip, though I hate that about me.
I do not smoke.


Well, except the crack that the pool boy, Jorge, left for me after our late night romp in the sack out in the veranda late one night last July.

Okay that never happened. But it was fun to write.

So that's a very small description of me.
I really don't have time for this, but what the hell.
What's one more thing to occupy my mind, right?